24 November 2009

On a recent trip to Rohtak, in Haryana, I met Savitri – probably in her mid-thirties; dressed in a chiffon salwaar-suit, with her head coyly covered with the dupatta – she tiptoed into the room to serve us tea. Her hands smeared with intricate mehendi designs and her wrists adorned with red glass-bangles; a large red-bindi gracing her forhead and an innately south-Indian style pendant hung on her slender neck. A little baffled seeing such a pendant around a very rustic north-indian woman’s neck – I asked her if it was a gift from someone she knew down south. A little hesitant at first, she softly replied, “pitajhi ne diya hain.” Now, being a Bengali myself, I can assure you that my Hindi isn’t too great either, but surely not as bad as to pronounce ‘pitaaji’ as ‘pitajhi’! Yes, it was her pronunciation which gave away, in those few seconds, that Savitri, wasn’t after-all from Haryana or any place nearby – she was from Kerala.
I later spoke to Savitri, at length and asked her how she landed up here, from a very matriarchal Kerala background to one that is utterly male-dominated and blindly conservative. What Savitri narrated was astounding – she said it wasn’t just her, but that there were many such Malyalee women, married into farming households of Haryana. I later to spoke to a journalist friend who revealed how due to Haryana’s abominable sex ratio and growing female foeticide, most farming households now ‘traded’ women from other states to grace their households…. and yet female infanticide is the order of the day here - an irony of gargantuan proportions and a sordid fact of our ‘Incredible Indian’!

Some quick facts –
The states of Punjab, Haryana and Jharkhand have the worst sex ratios in the country. According to the 2001 census, there are only 874 women with respect to 1000 men in these states. The national average was 933.

Figures by United Nations say that about 7,50,000 female foetuses are aborted every year in India.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Anonymous said...

well written and very informative!!

Unknown said...

I think your Article is an eye opener for everyone specially the people of Haryana who just blindfoldedly the Old tradition of female foeticide. This people forget that they were born to a Female. So if the route is wiped out how they can expect their Community to survive.
The youngster of Haryana should educate there elders so that this type Orthodox and uncultured practises can be stopped.

Soma said...

thanks everyone for those encouraging words...do keep writing in with ur comments & suggestions.

Desi Girl said...

Hey there,

I ran into your blog while trying to search for a long lost friend with the same name.

It is not only women from Indian states that are brought to Haryana in marriage but Nepal is also a popular choice. Similar trends are seen in Vietnam, Cambodia, Taiwan and other SE countries due to similar reasons as you mentioned.

The interesting part is these brought in women are married to older men, the men who could not secure a wife in their youth as they were trying to get their siblings settled. Some women are married to brothers not just one man. The children of such union are considered of the man who initially married the woman.

These women are discriminated against by other women in the family who hail from Haryana on the pretext that they are bought women (bride price). There are increasing reports of violence against these women. Lack of local language skills and support system make these women extremeley vulnerable to all kinds of familial violence.

About the South Indian style pendant, thanks to universalization of Hinduism as monoprototype thus eliminating regional variations by mainstream media especially Kekta Kapoor and Company.Karvachauth is being celebrated by communities that had other rituals and days with similar trends. I have seen Malyali women wearing Chura (red and white bangles woren by newly married Punjabi women) and Punjabi women wearing mangalsutra.

I'll return to read more...

Best,
Desi Girl

www.girlsguidetosurvival.wordpress.com